POEM: The way through

Előbukkant egy elfelejtett versem // I found a forgotten poem

MAGYAR

A 2009-es év igen mozgalmas volt számomra, mind szakmailag, mind a magánéletemben. Ma a Facebook feldobta az emlékeim között ezt a versemet, amiről már teljesen megfeledkeztem, most tényleg csodálkoztam, hogy tényleg ilyet is írtam? Igen.

Bár az év bő első felében itthon laktam, angolul jöttek hozzám a szavak; akkor nem is fordult meg a fejemben, hogy magyarul is kellene vele csinálnom valamit, mert amikor ez megszületett, befejezettnek éreztem, és minden további már fölösleges lett volna.

A képgaléria viszont minden nyelven beszél, és a poszt végén belinkelek egy történetet, amely szintén abban az évben született, magyarul is, és még pár verset, mindkét nyelven.

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ENGLISH

The year 2009 was really eventful for me, both professionally and in my private life.

Today, Facebook Memories showed me these lines that were born on this day, the 8th of June. I had completely forgotten about it.

Although I lived in Hungary in the good first half of the year, the words came to me in English.

THE WAY THROUGH

Cleaning, cleansing, clearing... whatever is the right word in English, for:

getting rid of junk and old shackles in your mind and life,
learning from mistakes,
confronting things you would never want to face because they are too painful, embarrassing or otherwise bad, and you are afraid of the consequences,
uttering thoughts you had thought he shouldn't have,
admitting bad things you have committed and felt guilty for, ever since,
or admitting you have failed to do things you should have done,

and by that,

putting things in order,
collecting and analyzing data,
absorbing wisdom you can learn from,
recognizing what happened and why,
realizing why things are going the way they are,
clarifying thoughts and visions, mentally and physically,
examining goals, purposes, intentions, the actual course of how things are,
deciding on how things should be,

while

seeing the whole world turning around and feeling like you are in a tumble dryer,
crying,
laughing,
yawning,
being angry, exhilarated, depressed and everything in between,
not sleeping,
being hungry for more senses of the word than just for food,
desperately looking for the correct answers,
being sick,
having an awful hard time,
burning on 1000 degrees,
almost exploding,
extremely hurting,
feeling that I can't take it any more,
wishing the whole thing was over,

and still keep going on,

knowing that the only way out is the way through, no matter how difficult it is,
knowing that everything turns out right at the end,
because you are confident in that you want the solutions that are the best for all concerned,
because you know you are strong enough to make it go right,
because you have to deliver what you are supposed to deliver,
because you know there are others around you and you care,
because you have to grab yourself by the nape of your neck,
being ready for anything, come hell or high water,

and in the meantime

escaping into the one and only thing you really has:

increasing your creativity,
dreams of new realities, a new world, a new life,
imagining wonderful situations and scenes,
figuring out how things can be done,
burning a candle on at least three ends at a time,
feeling lucky and exceptional,
constructing beautiful, new ideas, maybe illusions,
emanating as much beauty, aesthetics and love as you just can,

and feeling

great love and admiration

toward yourself,
toward another,
toward all the family members,
toward all friends,
toward all the birds and trees and flowers and lions,
toward stone, fire, Sun and Moon and stars, wind and water and Earth and all,
toward all the spirits and souls around,
toward infinity.
— Budapest, 2009. June 8th

Photo: Zita Tátrai

Árvíz // Flood, Budapest, 2009 June

Liszt Ferenc Zeneakadémia - a szomszédságában laktam a fiammal néhány hónapig, ahonnan gyakran behallatszott hozzánk a muzsika // Liszt Ferenc Music Academy - for a few months I lived nearby with my son, and we could often hear the music coming from there

Kanyargós utak… // Windig roads… (Budapest, Szent István Square)

Feldebrő, Currant Festival

Tarcal, Szentivánéji Vigasságok, a miskolci Tényleg zenekarral // Midsummer Festivities, with a traditional Hungarian folk band

Tarcal, with Tokaj Hill - yes, the wine region

Eger környékén, a Mátrával // Around Eger (another wine region), with the Mátra Mountains.

A siroki vár romaji // Sirok, ruins of a hilltop castle that was built sometime in the very early medieval era

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